Happiness Is A Choice
I have this mantra I carry around in my head. I created it recently to remind myself that I am the creator of my own reality and in control of my own emotions, and that nothing and no one has the power to push me out of my choice to experience happiness wherever it is that I am. This mantra is “My love Is My love”.
What those simple words essentially mean to me is that I am love at my core. That is the power I carry within me everywhere I go, I am powerful, unconditional love. But because I inhabit a body which has a personality (ego) conditioned by its past and deriving its attitude from its past experiences good and bad, I have to time and time again remind myself that “My love Is My love”. No one has the power to change my feelings about any given situation unless I allow it. Whatever happens around me I have the power and the choice to exercise My love. My family, friends or partner are not responsible for my happiness and it is me who chooses to interact and look at them, either through the eyes of love (which is unconditional) or through the eyes of ego (which is conditional on how they behave at large or towards me).
This mantra came as a result of a series of situations where I forgot these simple truths and was conditional with my love both towards myself and towards others. I allowed my ego to roar in its pain and boy did it ever! Upon reflecting on my reactions, which although were legitimate and warranted, I was not proud of in the least, I made a choice to be more mindful and created a mantra to help me when I feel that I’m getting hooked into an ego reaction.
The reality of our world in the present day is that most of us are vastly unconscious of who we are and the subtle and powerful mechanics of how our bodies, minds and this universe operate. Because we are malinformed, we like to hang the responsibility for our own feelings and emotions onto each other. This way of being has been conditioned into our subconscious when we were children by our malinformed unconscious environment. It was a huge and life changing revelation to me when I was shown that I could create my own happiness, that it had nothing to do with the way people around me behaved or where I was. And when I was successful in cultivating my own inner joy and gratitude for everything in my life, then I noticed a massive change in how I began to perceive the same people and the same situations. I started to look at others with compassion for their humanity. I learned to hold space for them to be themselves, not expect them to be something for me.
When you have a daily practice (mine is meditation), which anchors you in your heart and allows you to see through the lens of compassion, you notice when others get caught up and react from their egos or when they interact from the heart. And when the former happens, you don’t take it personally, you don’t judge or are affected by it. Why? Because you are drawing energy from your own well, not theirs.
Sound amazing right? The truth is none of us are perfect, but many of us have the ability and the tools available to wake up and be mindful. I learned these practices years ago but life took me this way and that and I have slipped multiple times into being reactive since then, ironically enough, only during times of slacking off on my meditation and yoga practice. Compassion, mindfulness and love are muscles. They need to be exercised daily. I let myself off the hook of perfection and replaced it with the mantra “My love is My love” and gratitude for having the tools to grow my own garden of happiness, which I water daily and where everyone is welcome.
The next time your monkey mind starts conditionally thinking about something and you feel your mood slipping into negativity, stress or anxiety, quietly whisper to yourself “My love is My love”. Remind yourself that happiness is a personal choice.