The Ego Trap
Most of us, however happy and free, live our lives in service of our egos. Your ego is the part of your mind which mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for your sense of personal identity.
We tend to surround ourselves with activities, people and things that feed our sense of "I" and serve as building blocks for this identity. When we remove all those things from our lives we often feel empty. But it's not "we" that are empty, it's the ego. Unfortunately if we don't have a strong spiritual foundation (and by spiritual i don't mean religious) underneath all that ego, we fall.. we fall HARD. When we fall we start looking around for people to blame. "I lost myself, it's your fault. Get out! My life was perfect before you came along!". We lay exposed and desperately reach for stuff to pad our egos with, to forget, to remove the memories of anything the ego deems undesirable… anything to not have to face the lesson. So say we are successful and we "build ourselves back up", again with people, activities, stuff, etc.. not having learned the spiritual lesson enclosed. We will build ourselves back up, recover all the bits and pieces only to crash again "at the hands of someone or something" down the road. It'll happen again and again.
What is a spiritual foundation? In my understanding it's our connection to our very essence, the universe, cosmos, stardust, a common core that unites all living beings. It's all around us. When we live in spirit, we live for more than just ourselves. Our activities are to serve the greater good, not just our own egos. We surround ourselves with people who are there for us and who we are there for through thick and thin. We have ingrained values that stop us from causing pain to others while seeking pleasure for ourselves. A spiritual foundation is a powerful core that cannot be shaken no matter what life throws your way. You know and respect yourself while loving and respecting others. No matter how many times you fall, you take full responsibility and you learn the deeper lesson(s) and heal your patterns. The ego is not capable of this. The ego wants to have its cake and eat it too. It doesn't want to engage in anything that doesn't serve or bolster it.
cover photo by Lutz Soedibjo