TFN Talks with Sara Silverstein
TFN Talks sat down with Sara Silverstein, an internationally loved Breathwork Guide, Female Sexuality Specialist and founder of InnerLight Aura, to talk about her life, work and journey as a Fearless Nomad.
Sara where did you grow up? What is your background? Tell us everything!
Oof - a big ask.
I’ll try to summarize it as quickly as possible.
My background isn’t too riveting so I’ll save you the mundane details. I’m simply your average small town gal who wanted more. I was raised in a family that did the best they could but as we know - families fall short. Trauma happens. We begin to dream and life starts to unfold.
My story really begins when I moved to New York City. I was 19 years old and I went to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology where I studied Photography. I was quite the party girl who loved nothing more than causing a ruckus and falling in love with every soul I met so I was fairly destructive for a few years.
Eventually, I tamed my drinking down (still a non-drinker today) and decided to get serious about this game called life. I ignored my creative drive and sold my soul in Corporate America for six years. This is where I realized my skill set was vast and I got to interact with people who were struggling on a daily basis with anxiety and their mental health. It was a fascinating time. I was beyond interested in being a rich bitch so I kept climbing ladders and getting higher salaries where I eventually burnt out.
My loving partner at the time suggested I seek out some help and I did. Between therapy and a life coach my life started to make some more sense. Eventually, my life coach Dana Balicki suggested I try Breathwork and little did I know that would be the thing to set my soul ablaze.
Six months into my practice I decided to get trained and to do that as a side job along with my office job. I began to make more sense of the world around me and could see how using our breath properly could change lives so I became committed to helping others. A few months later, I left my desk job, I left New York City and I began to travel the world. I thought I would be gone for six months but unbeknownst to me - I would end up starting a Breathwork Business on the road and eventually find a home in Bali, Indonesia.
How would you explain breathwork for someone who has never done it before? How did you discover breath work and the healing arts and what inspired you to become a practitioner and a facilitator?
I describe Breathwork as an active form of meditation that can alter your nervous system to find clarity, reduce anxiety and connect you back in to your true essence.
I tried to practice traditional seated meditation for years. I didn’t get anywhere. I felt dumb. Eventually, I tried Breathwork and my mind was blown. My over-active brain had an opportunity to calm down and I began to integrate years of therapy. To date, Breathwork is the best thing I have ever tried for my mental health.
Now for the career side of things - I never set out to be a facilitator. I knew that this modality had greatly impacted my life and if I could assist someone else on that journey - my soul's purpose would sing. So I did just that, I have done multiple trainings and every time I meet someone my only goal is to be helpful and walk them through a practice that could change their lives. At the end of the day, whoever I work with is doing the work. I’m just walking hand and hand with them through the mud.
Can you talk about your work as a female sexuality specialist? What inspired you to pursue this vocation and why do you think this work is important?
I met my beloved teacher and friend Kristin Murray Alexi at a women’s meetup in Bali. She is a radiant goddess who exudes femininity and I knew I needed her in my life. We teamed up for some workshops and virtual classes to help guide people into their pleasure and after a session she asked me when I was going to do her training.
I quit fighting it and decided - sure.
Here we go!
I am finishing up my training with Kristin but I have been embodying the work since we began collaborating. As a woman who faked orgasms, and didn’t understand what pleasure felt like in my body and as a survivor of assault - I decided I owed it to myself and to others to learn more and then share that knowledge. This work is imperative to me enjoying life. I am passionate about normalizing sexuality and how we all embody our true essence.
I have had the pleasure of working with women who struggle with their sexuality, women who don’t understand their cycles, women who are healing from sexual abuse, women who struggle with orgasmic pleasure. All the things!
For whatever reason, I have the ability to talk about topics that most people feel are uncomfortable with ease. So by bringing levity and knowledge to a situation we can walk through anything!
It takes a lot of courage, strength and wisdom to guide others through healing journeys. I’ve done a handful of breathwork sessions as a participant and the experiences have been really powerful, dramatic and at times chaotic for some of the other participants. How do you prepare yourself mentally and physically to hold space for people who are releasing trauma or having emotionally charged journeys? Do you have a ritual for yourself that keeps you grounded after sessions?
Trauma work is intense. That is for sure.
I am a huge proponent of urging facilitators to do multiple trainings. I am always a student - there is always more to learn. This is an unregulated field which means it can be dangerous. Being a Trauma Informed Breathwork Guide is a title that I take very seriously. I am always trying to deepen my knowledge so I can safely guide souls through this work. I prepare for every session the same way. I get clear on why I am there. I ground myself and my energy through meditative practice. I remind myself that I am just a teacher - I am not a healer, the client is their own personal healer. I have walked through the depths of my own trauma so I can stand firm in my role as a facilitator. If I ever feel that I am ill-equipped to do my job I will refer a client out. I have no shame in knowing my own limitations and boundaries.
You have one of the brightest most infectious personalities I’ve ever met. Truly, you’re a Shiny person inside and out and I love following you on social media. Have you ever entertained the idea of taking your practice to television or documentary format? I believe you would do really well.
Oh my stars, this is so kind.
Thank you. Truly.
I have never entertained those ideas because it requires a skill-set that I do not have. If someone/something were to approach me with an idea and the skills I am sure I would consider it. But for now, I’m happy talking to Instagram from wherever I am in life and letting it all unfold however it is supposed to!
I first met you at a poetry night in Bali. Your writing and presentation had a really big impact on the audience. When did you start writing poetry and how has it aided your own personal healing journey? Would you ever publish a book?
Wow.
Thank you, again.
I am working on receiving compliments so this is an excellent opportunity for me to receive. I started writing when I was sixteen. I’ve been obsessed with the idea of love for as long as I can remember. I am transfixed by the love people pour out and being a conduit for love myself - I want to explore the depths of the emotion and I find deep enjoyment in finding words for those feelings. I began performing at the poetry night we met at. I had never shared openly before. I was petrified every time I stepped on that stage - showing your heart to a room of strangers is daunting but the love in that room kept my heart beating.
I heal through writing.
I have to write people out of my bones.
I have always been highly sensitive and a deep feeler so for me it is pleasurable to write about experiences. If I can evoke an emotion in someone - I want to. I have found that performing poetry is the way to do that and I am grateful for anyone who has ever enjoyed a mere moment of it. I would definitely publish a book if someone wanted to pay me. Are you kidding me? That is the dream!
What brought you to Bali? How has the time you have spent living on the island changed you and what made you want to come back to New York City?
Bali called me in.
I had no plans to ever go there - truthfully, I had no idea where it was on the map! I ended up there on a whim. Got offered to host a Breathwork Journey my first couple of weeks and it was magical. I landed a work visa and thought I would stay for 6 months but she kept me in her arms for 2.5 years. I am so grateful for every moment there and that she forced me out. My island time changed who I am at my core. I am much slower now, my mind has opened, I have softened. I am stepping into the unknown feminine and enjoying the journey. I was drawn back to New York City because I wanted to hug my dad. This pandemic has changed my view on living so far away from people that I love so it was time to return. Well, that and heartbreak. I was in a tumultuous and emotionally abusive relationship that I had to get free from. He finally set my heart free and the first thing I did was move my flight home up sooner so I could be in the arms of those who love me the most.
This part of your work really fascinates me. Aura photography! Can you tell us all about what that is, how you discovered it and your experiences in taking photographs of people’s auras?
Aura Photography is SO neat!
So I have a special camera that was designed in the 1970’s that can capture your aura on a Polaroid film slide!
I first stumbled upon it in a shop in New York City when I was down for all things Instagrammable and boy was it a fun time. My life quickly changed after my first photo so I began to have mine captured quarterly. It was a great benchmark to see how I was doing, how people perceived me and what I needed to work on. While I was in Bali I was doing a lot of intense trauma work and I wanted to introduce a bit more play into my work realm. This was the best way to do it since I already work with energy and I have a BFA in Photography. Inner Light Aura fell into my lap and quickly became a success. I have captured over a thousand auras since I began my business and every aura reveal warms my heart. Showing people their true inner light is stunning. So many people are afraid they’ll have a bad aura but jokes on them - they are always stunning!
I have always been fascinated with humanity so having an opportunity to do work in this realm is so neat because this is something we all have and very few of us know what our energy is actually saying about us!
How can people get in touch with you if they would like to attend breathwork sessions or book an Inner Light Aura session?
I would love to guide you through a Breathwork Journey! You can get more information on sarasil.com. We can work virtually or in-person lest we be in the same city! Also, follow along on my IG where I keep that up to date instagram.com/sarasilverstein.
If you’d like to have your aura captured you can check out innerlightaura.com. This offering is only available in-person so if you are in NYC I’m here for a smidge. Let’s shoot or follow the aura fun at instagram.com/innerlightaura.
I’m the recent months you’ve been doing a lot of interactive stories and posts on your social media encouraging people to open up about their dating life and preferences through polls and questionnaires. I find it really fun to follow these a you really get to see where people are to when it comes to dating these days. What do you think about what it’s like to date in your 30s? What are we doing right and where are we going wrong? It’s a jungle out there! Also, how is dating in Bali different from dating in New York and which do you prefer?
I am obsessed with dating. I think it gets such a bad reputation because many humans who are dating are not doing it in the right mindset.
Dating should be FUN.
If it isn’t, take a pause and come back when you are ready. We all need to quit forcing things when we aren’t feeling it. Dating in your 30’s is interesting.
I thought I’d be married by now but you know what? I’m not - and I am okay! I am not washed up. I am not the bottom of the barrel. I am simply a bold woman who knows what she wants and is refusing to settle for someone who can’t meet me where I am at. I think people need to spend time with themselves to see what it is that they are actually craving for in a partnership? What are they hoping to achieve by walking through life with someone? I think there is a lot of right going on out there if you are communicating your wants and needs. If you are not expecting people to be mind readers - you are on the right path! I think people get caught up and upset with dating when they think that a true loving partnership is just going to hit them. Or when they have seen too many RomComs and they think that love is easy.
If you are looking for a life partner know that it will require work but it should be enjoyable. I go by the 70/30 rule. 70% good and in flow then 30% challenging and learning. When the balance is off - I know I am overextending (hello, I am a recovering codependent) and likely not going to be attracting what my ideal is. That being said - YOU know what you need. YOU know what you want. Get quiet and clear with yourself first before throwing yourself into the dating pool. It can be a wild mess but you can determine your reality.
Dating in New York City is SO different from Bali. In Bali you go on 2 dates and you are practically living with them. You see them everywhere. Your friends have probably hooked up with them, too.
I have found New York City dating to be aloof. It is a lot of waiting for peoples schedules to free up. Everyone is focused on achieving their goals and dreams (which I love!) but it means that a connection may take a smidge longer to happen.
That being said, I have never been good at slowing down and this is the medicine that my hopeful heart needs!
What would people be surprised to know about you?
I love to be wrong. I would take an opportunity to learn and grow over being right any day. I am surrounded by brilliant souls that all have different things to bring to the table. Being a know it all is NO fun. I lived like that for years. Now I thrive in a setting where I don’t know anything and I allow my brain to be open. I am a recovering Type A Personality so learning to slow down and let someone else take control has been a challenge but one that I know my bones need.
How would you like to expand your practice in the coming years? Are you done with being a nomad for now or are there far away shores still calling your name?
I am hoping that my Monthly Members Only Breath Family keeps growing so we can all thrive in this life together. We meet every Sunday for a little pre-week reset breath pattern. It has been the highlight of my past few months and I am excited to see it unfold.
Otherwise, I’ve been enjoying working with clients for my Evolve Package where we get into the depths of what is holding them back. No one wants to be the salmon swimming upstream - it has been beautiful to help humans uncover their blockages and then watch them soar!
I am definitely not done with being a nomad. I’ll be bopping around this earth for as long as I can. New York City is home for me right now but I have full faith my feet will be walking in Europe before the end of 2021.
‘TFN Talks’ In Partnership with Tropical Nomad Coworking Space