Watch Out for Chickens, Dogs and Small Children - The Adventures of Driving in Bali
‘When driving in Bali, watch out for chickens, dogs and small children’, said Budi the jolly Balinese man who rented me my first scooter. It was my third month in Bali and had been walking everywhere on foot, eyeing a shiny new electric blue Yamaha bike parked near one of the tourist kiosks, albeit too nervous to go near it. The day after Graham landed in Bali I dragged him to the kiosk, handed Budi 700,000 Rupiah and joyously got on the back of the scooter now that I had a pilot. Graham called me his “jetpack”. I felt more like a koala bear hanging on for dear life. A few weeks after we rented the XRide I was forced into an underground parking where my lost love patiently taught me the ropes of how to drive a scooter while laughing his ass off and filming me on his phone. The koala finally got the balls to get her training wheels. The next day he boarded a plane to Africa and I was thrown to the road wolves into the thick of Denpasar highway traffic, navigating on my own. With my pilot gone there was no time to be nervous. I had to get good fast.
It’s been almost four years since my late fiance Graham taught me how to drive a Yamaha XRide in a Delta Dewata underground parking lot and I could add a few more things to watch out for to Budi’s list of “Chickens, dogs and small children”. Watch out for Bats. You can be driving down the street and one will swoop and hit you in the torso, or if you’re really unlucky, in the face, startling the sh*t out of you and leaving a nice fat bruise and causing you to suddenly brake or swerve off the road. I personally learned how to duck when I see one coming. Watch out for bugs, during and an hour after sunset every day - that’s when they’re the worst. Hitting a swarm of microflies in the middle of the road is never fun and will leave you dropping F-bombs and swerving off to the side of the road to try and pick them out of your eyeballs with dirty fingers. It’s happened to me about 100 times. Watch out for cats, toads, snakes and lizards that like to dash across the road. Watch out for sand and gravel … I overturned my bike in front of Finn’s Beach Club once trying to accelerate out of the car park. It was embarrassing. Silver lining? I got picked up, carried off and bandaged up by a very cute surfer (you probably won’t get so lucky). Watch out for the Russians - they ride really obnoxiously loud bikes and tend to have a built in apathy for road rules (ok, not all of them , but a vast majority). Who are we kidding, everyone here has a built in apathy when it comes to road rules. Red light and no cars? Everyone drives through…. No cops on the intersection? Left and right turns at leisure … In Bali, you learn the art of what I call - intuitive driving. Expect the unexpected and adapt. The biggest hazard? Other drivers. The thing about Bali is, anyone can rent a scooter. Many scooters and bikes are private rentals, which means that no one checks your license, so you may as well not have one. Many riders learn as the go … many just …. go.
Every once in a while there are fatalities, mostly drivers with no helmets blasting through the streets. Cautionary tale - One of the handful of times I ever rode without a helmet I ended up getting launched off my bike at an intersection. This was three years ago and it was my only ‘crash’. I was following a friend on a motorcycle down the street from my house to lunch on the next street over and turning at high speed because he failed to signal. I landed and rolled, hit my head very mildy on the pavement but the incident was enough for me to learn my lesson. Even if you’re driving next door, just wear the damn thing. Driving short distances is when wearing a helmet becomes a nuisance for many, but the risk isn’t worth it. I could’ve died that day. Also, speaking of helmets, the majority of the ones sold in Bali don’t have a safety rating. They’re funky, cool, fashionable and completely useless in a crash. Something to keep in mind.
The worst of the transgressions are in Canggu, Kuta and Seminyak where driving without a helmet is ‘cool’ (or something … quite literally too because it’s a million degrees out) and every Friday to Sunday night people pile into bars and clubs, get absolutely wasted and hop back onto their scooters and motorcycles around 1am to go home. Frankly I’m shocked that the bulk of them seem to make it home without crashing, dying or running someone over. I have seen expats here try to mount their bikes in such a dire state of inebriation the scooter would fall over and they on top of it, passing out. It makes me angry but I know the only thing I can do for myself is be extra cautious on the road during those hours (if not avoid driving at all), and let people live with their own choices. It must have been late January of this year when I turned the corner and drove into the site of a head on collision. There was a barely conscious man (without a helmet) laying on the pavement and a crowd gathered around. I dismounted my bike and ran up to him checking his vitals. The ambulance had been called but it didn’t come for almost an hour. During that hour I sat with Vincent (that was teh name written on his ID), held his hand and kept him talking and calm while at the same time trying to keep the expat driver of the other vehicle at bay (all he cared about was getting Vincent’s license and wallet so he could make him pay for the damage). He actually went as far as to take his wallet from his jacket after which I then got up and slapped right out of his hand and told him to fill out an official police report. … as much as I could understand his frustration, we weren’t sure that Vincent was going to survive, and worrying about a couple hundred dollars seemed just a little bit gross taking the situation into account. Vincent was eventually wheeled off in an ambulance and released a few days later with a broken arm and a concussion as reported to me by a young woman who had called the hospital. He had been driving drunk … in the middle of the day. That day left a mark on me. What a strange way to meet someone. When I sat there on the road with him his eyes were rolled back in his head the entire time and he didn’t ever get to see me but he held on to my hand like a lost little boy the entire time. Before he was taken away he said “I don’t know who you are, but I like the sound of your voice”. I never saw him again and if he ever sees me on the street he won’t recognise me or probably remember any of it, but I was happy that by some chance of fate I took that road and that I could offer a stranger some comfort in an otherwise scary situation. It was a reminder of what can happen on Bali roads.
Besides the perpetual lack of head protection, it’s not uncommon to see fools driving around with one hand on their bike and one holding a cellphone, either talking or texting. This infuriates me and I honk at people when I see it happening. If it’s dangerous to drive and text in a car, what do you think will happen when you’ve got one hand of your scooter/motorcycle and all your attention on your phone? You’ll die or kill someone else, eventually. It’s reckless driving. I had a friend crash looking at the GPS on his phone. Use a headset, listen to the GPS if you have to instead of looking at it. Many people also drive around in shorts and tshirts, leaving it to no imagination what would happen to their skin if their bike kissed the pavement (I’m guilty of this .. because lets be serious it’s hard to make yourself put on jeans and a jacket in this heat). But the Balinese do it! Surprisingly (or not), on an average, local drivers in my experience adhere to more rules than the visitors do (except for the cell phones, I always see Balinese drivers on their phones).
A few minutes after I finished writing this paragraph I hopped on my moto to grab lunch down the street. I will use the rider who appeared a short few moments in front of me as a case study of what NOT to do in Bali. A blonde in her twenties, in a minidress with a purse under one arm, no helmet, and to drive my point home, of course she didn’t signal while turning right at the intersection and threw me a ‘look’ when I honked at her and motioned to turn on her signal. She also happens to be a prime target for purse snatchers. If there was one around on the road they would’ve driven up side by side with her bike, pulled her purse off and kicked her scooter over leaving her helmetless self with a few scratches and a cracked scooter wing at best and a brain injury at worst. You don’t want to end up under 130kg of metal without any sort of protection. Be smart.
The roads here feel a bit like real life Mad Max .. often complete with costumes and interesting characters. I have seen things mounted on and transported by scooters that I could never fathom in my wildest dreams, like: trees, mini kiosks, 8 dogs all at once - each sitting on a pedestal like bucket top strapped to the sides of a Vario, 24 foot poles, a scooter on top of a scooter …. the list goes on … however after we managed to fit what I remember being 7 grown skydivers into a teeny tiny little African tuk tuk in Kenya one December, I have more of an imagination for these things.
The famous Bali Dog dude … I’ve seen him on the internet and always dreamed of seeing him in person and one day .. VOILA!
Yes that’s a tree … whether it’s a bonsai or not I do not know but I absolutely loved seeing it strapped to this man’s scooter.
Saving the best for last, sidewalk driving … when in traffic you will often see a stream of scooters and motorbikes sliding through an adjacent sidewalk. It’s a thing. It’s a thing that saves hours in traffic when it gets really bad. Scooters can pass just about anywhere. Driving a car on this island is a deathtrap … during peak tourist season you could easily spend 4.5hrs in traffic going a distance of 17 kilometres. Pro Tip: scooters may seem a little scary, but trust me, you’ll lose all your hair and turn into a raging maniac trying to drive a vehicle in Bali that’s larger than a Mercedes SmartCar. Many of the village streets are also one lane and extremely narrow. I’ve never seen so many friends smack their side mirrors on concrete walls or other cars …. don’t drive a car, just don’t do it. Hire a driver. Or ride a bike.
On one of my many drives up to the North of the island.
Looking over at Mount Batur, one of the two active volcanoes on the island of Bali.
I’ve been driving in Bali for four years. I have an Indonesian license. Over the years I have leased about 7 different scooter models from different manufacturers. Out of the smaller ones, the XRide is still my favorite (nostalgia .. and a smooth ride), although the Honda Scoopy comes in a close second (and is a favorite among many here on the island). I loved riding one for almost a year. A few months ago I decided to finally rent the local “Range Rover” of scooters, the 2020 Yamaha NMax 155CC with ABS. If scooters had a comfort and quality rating system among local riders, the NMax is the best you can get according to popular vote. I cracked up when a friend showed me a guy’s tinder profile and his bio said “I ride an NMax” …. It’s definitely the local “cool kids” bike… bit still, LOL at that guy. It also has the highest resale value of all the bikes in its class if you decide to purchase one. Yamaha has also introduced the Aerox with similar frame and suspension, slightly more power and slightly better handling. I have only seen them twice, at the dealership. There is only one step up when it comes to Yamaha and that’s an XMax, but there are few of them on the road. The size and weight of the XMax commands that it be driven by someone who’s about 190cm and 85kg. It’s the really big boy scooter with a Blue Core 250CC and really awkward and inconvenient to park in small spaces, like virtually every public parking you’ll come across in Bali. You may as well just get a Harley at this point. However, if you’re going to ride jetpack, it’s the most comfortable ride of all the aforementioned models. I call the XMax the “boyfriend bike” … best enjoyed with a boyfriend driving it. After riding the NMax for two months I got used to the size and the weight of it, and oh most definitely the buttery comfort and not having my back hurt after 2hrs trips up to Batur .. and kind of fell in love, so much so that I decided to purchase my own at Yamaha Arundaya Motor in Denpasar. If you’re going to buy a Yamaha bike I highly recommend them, their service is on par with what you would expect of a dealer in North America, fast, friendly and professional. My scooter also came with a totally useless gift from Yamaha (A one-size-fits-all helmet and jacket … which obviously don’t fit)… although funnily enough - and rare for Bali - the helmet has a safety rating. You win some, you lose some?
The-Fearless-Nomad-Mobile … my new baby getting detailed before I get to take it home.
My favorite thing about this photo are the faces of the mechanics in the back …
I called my new 150CC friend ‘Maverick’ … Top Gun - yes, but it also holds a more secret meaning which ties me back to the person who first taught me how to ride. Going on really long rides up the island to the Batur volcano or jetting down to the cliffs of Uluwatu is one of my favorite pastimes. When most people, especially during the pandemic, try to avoid driving in the dark for fear of burglars, I absolutely love it. Coming home from Uluwatu on Sunset Road (the local highway) at midnight or at 2am in the morning with no cars or bikes around is one of my meditations. It also brings back some beautiful memories from simpler more innocent days.
As much as I love riding at night by myself, as a female I do take precautions. Remember the female rider I mentioned earlier? What NOT to do? Whatever I may be wearing in the day I always keep a change of clothes in my trunk - dark long pants and a dark long sleeve shirt with a spare mask. Since the pandemic there have been stories every week of robbers targeting females specifically and knocking them off their bikes mid-drive or snatching purses. I take all the necessary safety precautions without getting crazy or paranoid about it. I love riding at night so I masquerade myself in my spare clothes, tie up my long hair, add to that a mask and a helmet and I haven’t had a single issue in my four years of coming and going here. I also never ever have my purse on me while I drive, it’s always under the seat in the trunk space. The only exception to that is when I travel with camera equipment in my backpack - and that pack is impossible to pull off body mid drive because it has three straps locking around my torso. When it comes to safety, you have to think like a robber, who would they target? Normally, easy unassuming prey who doesn’t look too comfortable on their bike. When I drive on the highway in the company of many other riders I frequently switch lanes and overtake other drivers. I’m a safe rider, but I’m also an aggressive rider when need be. I make it very hard to get close to me on the road because I’m always checking my mirrors and I’m always aware of my surroundings. Complacency gets you in trouble.
My friend Joseph recently taught me how to ride his Yamaha FZ25
Thrilled that I was able to leave the parking lot and not stall the motorbike.
Tips for riding a scooter / motorcycle in Bali based on my personal experience
If you have never ridden a scooter before take lessons and make sure you’re comfortable on it before taking it on the road. If you have never ridden a motorcycle before, take a course. Malamadre Motorcycles in Canggu offers riding workshops (one of which I am about to take). Obviously don’t ride either without a license. You need an Indonesian C License to drive a two wheel motor vehicle in Bali or an International Drivers license with a license equivalent from your country.
Always wear a helmet. If you value your helmet don’t leave it on your bike, bring it with you wherever you’re going, or lock it under the seat. Helmet snatching is one of the more popular pastimes here for petty thieves. If you’re going to ride a motorcycle especially, cover up & wear a full face helmet (don’t do what I did in the photos above … that was a photo op, I didn’t go riding like that and I don’t have a helmet on because Joseph’s holding on to it while he’s taking the photos.)
DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING A BIKE. EVER. You wouldn’t believe how many people I see on the road on their phones, talking, texting with one hand while driving. If you need to use your GPS, plug in your headset and listen to the directions. Do not ever drive while on your phone.
There are usually two to three types of fuel at the pumps. PERTALITE (the equivalent of 89, is the cheapest fuel and is subsidized by the Gvnmt), PERTAMAX Blue (equivalent to 92), PERTAMAX PLUS Red (equivalent to 94). If you want to take care of your engine, use higher grade fuel. I always use Pertamax, even when I was renting lower end scooters I filled them up with premium fuel just because … it’s a nice thing to do, and for an expat the difference in price between Pertalite and Pertamax is almost nothing. Use premium.
Don’t leave your keys in your scooter and lock your keyhole. Scooters get stolen, recovering them is nearly impossible. One of my favorite things about the 2020 Yamaha NMax is that it’s keyless. I carry a fob.
If you don’t want to have your scooter or motorcycle scratched, choose your parking spots mindfully, especially when you’re going out to a club or a festival. The parking attendants usually stack scooters millimetres from one another to maximize parking space. Don’t trust other riders (especially in an inebreated state to give a damn about not scratching your bike with their surf racks or while trying to leave or get into a parking space.
In Bali honking is customary to let someone know you are passing them on the road. So if someone honks at you while overtaking you, they’re just being courteous.
Tip parking attendants (you don’t have to if it’s a paid parking), but generally these guys go above and beyond to help you get your bike in and out of the park in a sea of other scooters so tipping is a nice gesture. It’s called “cigarette money” here.
Carry a sarong (or a towel) and a raincoat in your trunk. You’ll need the sarong/towel to cover your bike seat if you don’t want to sear your butt after having your bike parked in the sun for hours. The raincoat is in case torrential rain starts coming down while you’re driving. It happens often.
If you’re renting a bike have the owner do maintenance on the bike every month. You don’t know where that bike’s been and how it’s been handled so what I usually used to ask for before I bought my own was a monthly oil change, have them check the brakes and the tires. Ask for a receipt from the mechanic to make sure it’s been done. Do not rent old scooters.
Private rentals are not insured. ALWAYS have travel insurance. I cannot stress this enough. If something happens to your bike you have to pay for it out of pocket. As a foreigner you will ALWAYS be at fault for whatever happens on the road so if something happens just be humble about it and offer to fix it.
Be respectful of your bike rental. It’s someone else’s property and often sole business. Treat it knowing that the vehicle is a means of putting food on someone’s table. Many locals take out bank loans to pay for the scooters they rent out to tourists.
If you go to a party or a restaurant/club and decide to drink, leave your bike in their lot (nothing will happen to it), and call yourself a GoJek (it’s like uber but for scooters). Pay your driver double what the app shows or always tip because the app prices are ridiculously low, you will see when you use it.
Ride fun but ride safe. The better you get the more risks you will naturally feel ok with taking (like overtaking other vehicles close to oncoming traffic) or racing other riders on the street. Remember that however good you think you may be, you can’t predict the behavior of other riders or stop an animal or a human from running onto the road right in front of you. I don’t know why but many people here only look one way while j-walking. I had a girl once step off the sidewalk totally randomly without looking my way or signaling that she was going to cross … I honked while slamming on the brakes, skidded and stopped within three inches of her body. I think she was wearing headphones and looked absolutely mortified when she turned around and saw me on my bike. A friend’s friend had a fatal collision with a pedestrian on a residential street. The pedestrian died, she went to jail. Remember, people generally don’t pay attention, so slow the F* down and be vigilant. I know that in countries like Canada (where I’m from), pedestrians always get the right of way. THEY DON’T IN BALI SO PAY ATTENTION.
Don’t engage with reckless drivers or people with road rage, just stay away from them. I once was going through the infamous Canggu shortcut and honked at the rider in front of me who slammed on his brakes for no reason and without warning. Long story short, he got very angry and tried to follow me and run me off the road (at the shortcut), which would’ve landed me in the rice field. I had to kick his scooter away with my right leg when he tried to sideswipe me and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. There was another incident where two lanes of traffic were trying to squeeze into one lane and a minivan from the oncoming lane (which shouldn’t have even been a lane) drove straight at me full well aware that there was no space to pass and ended up pinning my leg against the side of my scooter. If it weren’t for my spare helmet which was strapped to the side of my bike, which started scraping the body of the van, he would have kept going. when I started screaming at him he pressed on the gas. So kids … stay away from traffic jams, crazy drivers, angry drivers and situations your intuition tells you not to engage in. I adore this island but it’s got its own rules on and off the road.
Don’t park under trees (especially near Old Man’s) … your bike will get covered in bird sh*t.
Last but not least, don’t take passengers on your bike unless you are absolutely certain in your driving skills and willing to take the responsibility for their life. ALWAYS make your passenger wear a helmet. I personally don’t like taking anyone on the back of my scooter. I don’t like the responsibility, I would rather give my friend money to take a taxi or a GoJek then drive them myself.
All of this being said … driving a scooter or a motorcycle in Bali is one of the most fun and adventurous things you can do on the island.
Stay safe and enjoy the ride!
The Fearless Nomad
In Partnership with Tropical Nomad Coworking Space